February 24, 2011

Parenting or hindering???

Who knows anymore?  Since my oldest is embarking on middle school (gulp) soon, I've been thinking alot about, wait, OK what haven't I been thinking about?  My son will be a "young" middle schooler because he has a late birthday and started Kinder at 4.  And will graduate at 17.  Well I graduated at 17, however, girls and boys...  Two completely different scenario's.  Did I screw up by being an over eager parent and putting my child in Kinder early?  Well....  That's just the beginning of my questions. 

I remember as a kid playing outside with no adult supervision, riding bikes in the street, walking to the local park, walking home alone from school, having to be home when the street lights came on, etc.  Things were fine then, I'm not sayin my parents didn't worry or I was NEVER supervised, I'm just pointing out the ability to be more lax in those days.  Today there is NO WAY I would let my boys be outside without some kind of supervision, and definitely NOT in the street, or going to the next neighborhood.  Too many careless peeps out there not to mention FREAKS.  So, am I overprotective?  Am I hindering my child's maturity level because I won't let him cross the street by himself or be out of some sort of eye shot?   Why is it SO hard to let them flutter away from the nest and soar?  FEAR?  I want them to be independent and responsible adults.  What do you think, what do you do to ease those worries?  What "systems" do you have for your kids?



13 comments:

Hungrigyrl said...

OMG, I am totally with you! I grew up the same way. Now, even though my kids are only 4 and 2 I am extremely protective. Could also be a bit because my hubby is a cop and sees and hears so many bad things. When my kids are playing in the front yard I make them both come in if anyone has to use the bathroom or needs a snack. It only takes 1 second for things to go very wrong. I'd rather err on the side of caution!

Ember said...

I agree, we have lots of P.O. friends and we hear the stories! Scary!

AMo said...

The world is just different now- I'm pretty sure my boys will be 28 and 30 before I let them out of the house alone!
New follower from MBC.
http://princessmuffintop.blogspot.com/

Nan said...

Hi, following you from MBC. Parenting was so different 30-40 years ago. We'd be gone for hours playing in the woods or riding bikes a few miles away and we felt ok and I never saw worry from my mother. We were also left in the car while she shopped and other errands. Now that my guys are 4 & 6 and we have moved to a safer neighborhood, I have relaxed A LOT!

jennifer said...

I think it has to do with the kid too. I let Briana go to college a month after she turned 17, live the dorm life at the biggest party school ASU and she will be packing up and moving back to Az and be on her own in 2 weeks a couple months after 18. Briana had been an independent mature kid from day 1! Would I ever let Madison do that NO! Would I let Steph or the boys probably not.
It is tough living in So. Ca. with kids, they don't have the freedom that we used to or the freedom kids in small town living do. I think as they get older you have to let them spread their wings some but they have to earn that in the way they behave. Take baby steps and see what they can handle but never let them do something you aren't comfortable with because we do know best.

Kathy said...

Love your blog! I found you on MBC. As to the question "how do you deal with the fear in letting them go" I will say choclate! Not the best coping system!!! Lol!

eGarrison said...

I have to say one thing I love about the school district I teach in (small district in San Diego, CA) is that our schools go from K-8th grade. It is a nice way to keep the middle school kids "kids!" I know that there is crazy adult-type stuff that goes on in middle school, but if you know you raised him right...they will make the right choices (at least the ones that really matter). All you can do is have faith in that...and pray :)
-MomsLifeMadeEasy.com

Casey Martinez said...

I only have one kiddo who is barely breaking one year old and I have already pondered this deeply. I too remember feeling quite free as a youngster to roam the street, walk to the store alone etc. Wow, what a different world we live in I guess. I actually admire my mom for being brave enough to trust me on my own. I might need to ask her for some tips on this!

Ember said...

Great comments! I like Kathy's! Chocolate!! =) I will be doing lots of praying. LOTS!

Mrs. E said...

Hi, I'm following from MBC. Stop by my blog and enter your link for the blog hop.

http://seriousmrse.blogspot.com
http//thecomfortzonediversity.blogspot.com

Rachel said...

I don't have kids of my own, but one summer I watched my niece and nephew for a week while my sister was at a church camp. They were 9 and 6 at the time. I didn't let them out of my sight. Even though my sister said it was safe for them to ride their bikes around the neighborhood, I went out there with them. We are living in different times, it's sad!!

Have a great weekend!

:)
Rach

Glynis said...

When I was growing up it was the same way and all the moms left the front doors open. Its hard to let your child fly. My daughter, who is in middle school now, was the last of her friends to be able to ride her bike without an adult present. She was in sixth grade. My rules are that she always ride with friends and stay in that group, they are only allowed to ride in certain areas, (we have mom spies every where) and she must call home every hour or if she goes into a friends house. I still worry but she needs her independence.

New follower
http://momsinvent.blogspot.com/

Ember said...

Thanks again everyone for the great feedback!